I shall need to divide this into seperate entries because i'ne neglected to write in here for a couple weeks....

Christmas was awesome! Went over to my mother's house for lunch, where Cassy cooked and meal and it was fucking excellent! We had ham, taters (with bacon fer da boiz?!), and a bunch of other good foods. From there, we went down to Chris' house where lil' Carl Blazed with us. After a while of not getting hooked-up, we got the OK from the mama dukes that lil' carl could spend the night- so off to my house we ventured! We waited a lil while until some of the other heads got here, Justin Ruban and Nikki and Davin didn't show until the party was over...
       We started drinking, having fun and playing games when i got a call from Katie. She seemed distraught because her parents were fighting with her over stupid shit. I told her she could come over here as long as she wouldn't get in trouble, so she came over and got to drinking w/us and playing games. Katie and I played couple's Beirut against Chris and Cassy but we lost cuz Justin was being a drunk dick and catching every ping-pong ball that went airborn (only for me and Katie- to help Chris and Cass). Lil' Carl drank too much, too fast and ended up passing out, puking all over my couch. Katie fell into the bar and broke my only 2-shot glasses (one was an x-mas gift) and a glass cup which Ruban thankfully cleaned up. Katie also got some really good pics of the night with her new digital cam (and i ended up stealing them offa her facebook = P ). I got upset in a very quiet manner but scared Katie in the process cuz i guess she's had some dickhead ex-boyfriends....but we won't get into that... After her and I calmed down we smoked a butt together and walked Chris, Cassy and lil' Carl partway home (they had to jet cuz Cass had to work early in the morning). Katie gave me a very nice x-mas gift that night (rather, i gave her one) and we fell asleep together...
 We got woken up at some god-awful hour to her mom screaming and that all ended with Katie leaving (driving drunk. nice.) and he mom stating that i can never go over their house again. Which is fine by me, because after what they said about me - i have no desire to ever see them again. Period. 
The night went great until we got the phone call and i'm glad everybody had a good time (i had a fucking blast! WOOO!) Katie, and I and everybody else toasted to a 'happy-birthday-jesus' lol and the night went smoothly.
THE END! TAH-DAH!

I truly hate 2-faced people. if you have a problem with me - say so. I'm not gonna beat around the bush pretending to like you if i don't; women are fucking infamous for this shit. The bitch i'm talking about in particular is Jessica Dummich. I regrettably dated this bitch for a short period of time and learned (more like, 'drove the point home' - not exactly learned) not to trust most bitches. That's why we call people like this, 'bitches'. They are lowly and not very becoming, much like a dog (bitch). This will be the last time i shall mention her name in any of my entries and the only reason i do now, is because i just learned of this. She gave me a ride home the other night and acted entirely friendly, flirtatious and more than obliged to help me out in a shitty predicament - for this, i was grateful.
    Then i speak to my brother's girlfriend cassie, who just got a job at panera. Cassie took one look at her name-tag and said 'you dated Carl Bailey, didn't you?" She replied with "Yea, don't fucking remind me" and then proceeded to talk shit about me until she realized that there was a family tie between Cassie and I.   J.D. then proceeded to talk about my girlfriend Katie and I. Primarily about how we would never work out and that i was a very 'clingy' individual. Also, how i can't make relationships work because i have problems...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
*crying now, laughing so hard
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Wow, you put yourself on quite a high pedestal, eh? You are the most 2-faced, annoying, wretched person with the ugliest soul that i have ever met. You have no room to talk about relationships - analyze yourself before you pick other people apart, sweetheart. From now on, PLEASE act like the horrible person that you truly are, towards me. Don't cover it up. Don't hide your feelings for me. Act like a bitch - it's what's in your heart. Emptiness and ugliness. That's what i want from you. I LOVE knowing where i stand with people.
    ********Furthermore, on a more person note, I love Katie with all my heart. She is one thousand times the woman that you could ever be. Also, we are insanely compatible - truly. Almost to the point that it's beyond belief. One last thing, if you're going to keep up this childish game and facade, do us all a favor - go play in traffic for a while, would ya'?

It seems like my life is a grab-bag. Mixed up inside; handing me an assortment - insisting that i take the bad with the good.
Let's start from the beginning... On Wed. i met Katie's parents for the first time and it was really cool. Katie's mother is a sweet lady (her name is Maurice) who cooked a very elegant meal and filled me up to the point i was gonna pop. Her father was having an off-day, so i couldn't gauge him too well... We 'watched' Pulp Fiction (awesome movie) and then she drove me home. We brought 'Benny' for the car ride; he's her extraordinarily cute Beagle (i effin love beagles!!! :-p).
Thursday the 20th i went to Vinny T's and filled out my paperwork and had orientation. I saw a lot of people i hadn't seen in ages, so it was fucking cool.
Fri- was my first day, short and sweet. I trained with Chris, had an excellent first day despite all the fucking 'baby' questions that people were (for the obvious reason) compelled to ask me about... Whatever, it's cool... Afterwards Katie came over and showed me an awesome night! We watched Trailer Park Boys and played video games, Mancala and whatnot. She spent the night and it was awesome waking up next to her!!! Best moment of my life :-)
    THIS IS THE FUCKED UP PART!!!  On wednesday i received a late night phone call (almost 3 in the morning) from somebody who claimed to be "Justin" but it DID NOT sound like the only Justin that i knew... He asked if 'we' could come over....
    Disoriented from having just woken up, i told him 'no' (obviously) and to call back tomorrow. I laid awake in my bed, mulling over what had just transpired and how odd it was... I had a creepy feeling that i can't explain - so i *69'd the # hoping to get to the bottom of this unusual prank call. Before i could, the phone rang again and immediately hung up after one ring. I *69'd that and it gave me some random-ass number that i had never heard of before. Calling it back, i got somebody who did not know Justin and proceeded to "shoot-the-shit" with me; trying to figure out how i got his number... When i said i was 'Carl (fucking) Bailey' he flipped the fuck out. "Aw, fuck?! Do you know who you're talking to?! You're fucking dead, kid! We have your phone number, we know you live on Salem st. and blah blah blah." 
    He basically told me straight out that my life was in danger and that this was no ordinary ass beating... That he and a handful of other people were LITERALLY coming to kill me! I have A LOT of enemies and i can't even begin to think of which one it is... Not to mention i have warrants so i can't go to the police. The days following, i have had random 'tags' that spell out 'Blame' written all over my patio (1 new one every night since) and porch and neighboring apartment AND my had was returned to me. I had my favorite Boston's cap stolen from me and it was returned to me... It was nicely set down on the table in my patio, in plain view; for all to see. Every night hence, i have had late night calls with people making strange noises into the phone and hanging up (calling from 'blocked' numbers. Not private, but blocked!)     One night there was banging on the windows (i pretended like there was no-one home) and Katie was even present for one of the fuct up calls... I'm freaking out... There's so much more i wanna write about but this is already too long - not to mention i don't even wanna fucking start proof-reading this son-of-a-bitch for typos *ugh! I'll include it in my next entry. I'm freaking out - i wanna move. Plus, for a week straight (before the first phone call) i had been telling my girlfriend katie about how i've been having vivid dreams of me dying (by getting shot, stabbed, shit-stomped....) for the entire fucking week! She can attest - i'm freaking the fuck out...

This apartment has been hell for me lately. Needless to say, my current predicament is not a very becoming one. I am almost flat broke, barely caught up with the bills, with no paycheck in sight coming for next months rent and it's the holidays. I have all of my essentials (with the exception of food but i'll play that day by day) taken care of and i've been incessantly helping out around the house. I have been trying to balance the situation a little bit so i am still AT LEAST doing something constructive to benefit the household.
    Everything aside my roommates (who are well aware of the situation) have been being complete jerks. They have used up all of my toothpaste (fucking EW!), shaving creams, shaving blades, Listerine, toilet paper, body wash, shampoo and have eaten all of my food and promised to reimburse me for a bag that THEY wanted and i have yet to see the money. So in spite of them, i smoke a bag that i don't fucking want that they refuse to pay me for; cuz if they act like a dick - i act like a dick. Period.   
    When i ask them to pick of some toilet paper (not mentioning anything else they've used) they put up a big fucking fuss! "How'd you use up 12 rolls of toilet paper, Carl?"
"ME?! I bought the fucking toilet paper and i sure ass hell didn't shit that much in 2 weeks to go through that much toilet paper!"
We we've retaliated in stupid ways and they won a little bit ago... Nikki put her guitar in her room so i can't use it. Which seems childish, i know, but she NEVER uses it, has acknowledged that she never wants to play the guitar, and has given me permission to use it any time at all - and then does this...
    I think i'd be up shit's creek without a paddle if it weren't for my life-saving girlfriend. She's bringing me down food when she comes to see me today and she bought me a bunch of stuff for Christmas. I love this girl but i feel low - a low that i haven't felt in awhile... My predicament sucks and i have an amazing girl taking care of me when it should be the other way around... *sigh
    The only good news is that i start my job late (thurs. the 20th @2) and i'll get cash money because i'm a waiter. That'll at least pay the bills until i can work something out with my landlord... Shit... I feel like a dick-

Things are slowly but surely looking up. I have my old job @ Vinny T's back (as long as they don't pull it out from under me before i start) except this time around, i'm gonna be a waiter... Never done that before but i'm looking forward to the new experience! I also found out that an old friend of mine Linda Pendarvis works there, so it'll be nice to see her and the ol' Vinny's boys again!
I thought i was supposed to start today but he never called so i'm gonna give him a buzz tomorrow. Katie also comes back in approximately 17 and a half hours and i can't wait!!! She's all mine till like the 6th, i think. my 21st birthday is coming up sooo fast, i can't wait for that either!
    Since today was inadvertently my day off i took the liberty of cleaning the house top to bottom, then i did my room... The largest task at hand was the Junk room; it looked like shit. So what i did was, i rearranged everything and turned the junk room into the funk room! We have a whole bar and area for party congregation. The whole house is now setup for entertaining purposes and i love it! I'm a very social person so i think this is perfect. We'll have lotsa parties in the near future (not to mention Feb 12th. is my 21st birthday!!!). Ahh, good times... Things are definitely starting to look up :-)

    And that's exactly how i feel....
I sowed way more than i could reap. I invested so much into my job and now i believe i have come to a standstill. Max got fired today (or yesterday, however you wanna look at that - it's currently 1:58 am) and he was the ONLY reason i could get to and from this job. Haha - i was so foolish...
    Here i was thinking that i'm gonna get fired and then my friend gets laid off because of bad stats... My numbers aren't much better than his and this worries me. Preval is laying off sales associates that have been there for 10 years (no joke) just because this season is slow and their stats are too low - which isn't their fault. You get ghosts calls, customer service, wrong #'s, hangups and that shit all counts against your stats - and you can't do a fucking thing about it. How're u gonna sell to those?
    Stability isn't something that i've had much of in life, so i really desire it in a workplace. Now that i don't have that - i feel like my job is threatened. I'm hurting so bad for cash to pay these bills and shit for the holidays, that if i can't keep this job until the 30th - i'll go back to being homeless... Homeless during the winter sux ass - they're not live-able so you really need to work some shit out...
    Fuck.......
This fucking sucks....

it's approximately 4:15 in the morning right now and i absolutely can't sleep. My mind's running circles around me, my body is stressed and tired; which collectively is a bad combination... I'm gonna try playing some Madden and hopefully i can fall asleep quick.
What a fuct day i had today. I seriously need to start thinking about college or a serious fucking career. This lifestyle is getting really old, really quick. I watched a movie ("SLC Punk" with Max and his girl, Erica) and it put my life into perspective a little bit. I'm having a lot of fun building memories and conceivably eternal friendships and relationships (which i embrace) but my daily routine had became a viscous circle that has consumed my entire being with one fell swoop.... I became engulfed in a lifestyle that is an entire facade, a fake, a front, a mask - an impregnable wall that i inadvertently built around myself to protect from harsh realities that i can't come to terms with... For the first time I felt accepted, popular, important, and admired by many... I was so oblivious for so long - so incredibly blind to the fact that i had no real friends... I had, at the time, nobody who truly loved me and honestly cared about my well being. I was surrounded by drones - or clones- people just like me... Going nowhere - which is ultimately where i've been trapped going to... I need to break free and escape...
My life is going nowhere... Career?.... Or College?....
I need to do something fast before i find myself intricately intertwined with the cycle that I worked so hard to break... That would be a substantial and essentially an insurmountable loss for me...


You brighten my day....

Works been pretty shitty and Katie been doing alright. Christmas is coming up fast and i'm blown away- this year is almost over. This time of year always has my head full of shit and i'm re-living it for yet another year. Life's too complicated sometimes but things're going well. I need to look for a new job. I'm stoked how well everything's going w/Katie but i need to make some sort of life change- I NEED A CAREER!

I gotta go into work in about a half hour or so....
I enjoyed my thanksgiving, spent it with Gary and Felicia. I miss my novia hermosa. Behind on bills. Work sux-
peace